Traffic Victims Remembrance Day October 12, 2003
A speech given by
Elene Y. F. Bratton, Jamie’s Mom


“Most people think the world is round, but it’s really in the shape of a heart because it’s God’s heart”.

This is just one of the many beautiful ideas expressed by a five year old boy Jamie Morgan Mychael Bratton-McNeeley.

Thank you Dr. Sarkar and David Brewer for inviting me to speak today, but more importantly for hosting this important event.

This subject is hard to discuss because we’re used to the daily news reports of injury and death on our roads and are more upset about traffic delays than the devastation, but also because we will all drive away in our automobiles today and hope it won’t happen to us. Unfortunately it happens too often and on April 24, 2002 it happened to us.

My sister picked up Jamie for a visit, some pizza and a movie with her son, whom Jamie called brother. A simple evening of love and connection, but they never made it.

Something went wrong, terribly wrong.

My sister suffered a brain injury and my son lost his life only hours later.

The factors that contributed to this crash are part of the story I’d like to speak about today.

There are many places in our country, state, county and world where the roads are unsafe for those who drive them; the speeds are to high, the road design does not meet the ever increasing use of the road and the condition worsens as we increase the number of houses we build along roads that we’re meant for far fewer travelers.

The specific road, La Costa Avenue in Carlsbad is a very dangerous thoroughfare. Low visibility, winding roads, high speeds and an ever increasing population of people using it to get to the freeway from the increasing number of developments being built without the infrastructure to support them. There are not adequate medians, stop signs and lights leaving the road ripe for a wreck. Unfortunately it was out family caught in that wreck.

My sister was driving a 2-door Toyota Tercel; the other car was a Tundra truck. The other driver had minor scratches. This is not an add for heavier vehicles, but a concern for what I call the “car arms race”, where no one feels safe in a small car because there are so many big cars on the road. We trade in sedans for mini vans and SUV’s. They are no longer safe and Hummers are now needed. But every small car that is traded in for a “bigger and safer” vehicle makes everyone less safe. This is a very dangerous escalation of power on our roads leading to many more crashes with serious injuries and fatalities.

The police and insurance company agrees that Angela was at fault; her car went into another lane. We will never know why because of the injuries she suffered. We do feel that if the road was safer and the other vehicle smaller things could have turned out differently for Jamie and us.

But we can’t rule out or ignore that we all get distracted as drivers. We are not always fully present and become complacent during a task that demands all of our attention. And there are circumstances beyond our control.

We do not know what could happen to us and our most loved ones. An accident, an act of violence, failed health could take the life of someone we love.

This is also a part of the story. Making it imperative that we let those we love know it. Borrowing from John Edward “to appreciate, validate and communicate with those we love is the most important thing we can do”.

Jamie knew of our love every day. It allowed him to have confidence in himself, to trust life and to love others. We have many stories of how Jamie touched lives. One friend in part writes:

“I will never forget the day I meet Jamie. He was such a beautiful child with a head full of curls. A very warm and gracious little host, that greeted me with a big smile and a snuggling kind of hug. He asked me questions about my sons and myself. We ate together, sharing our food. Our time together eventually evolved into a conversation about God and about his remembrances of time before he came into this life experience. I was in awe of this precious soul. Jamie talked about the beauty of the world, we as adults sometimes forget. We gave each other our full attention- our souls meshed. “

Another friend focuses on his human charm and personality writing: “Jamie was gentle but rugged at the same time. I remember seeing him bow his head in prayer one minute then slide down the muddy hill by my condo the next. He was also very brave. He liked to watch shark attack movies with Lorenzo when he came to visit (I’m sure Elene didn’t approve). Jamie found pleasure in the little things. I remember one time while hiking in the Chino Hills State Park we were looking for wildlife. While we all scanned the hills looking for deer, coyotes, and mountain lions he kept his eyes to the ground. We didn’t spot much of anything; however, he was enthralled with the beetles and potato bugs that he kept us from stepping on. I remember Jamie loved to eat. I saw him eat 2 bowls of oatmeal, a banana, a yogurt and a glass of juice in one sitting. Quite a feat for a 4 year old! He was a dedicated vegetarian (although one time his cousin Demetri put some bologna in his peanut butter sandwich). He could also mix a mean drink at Denny’s (2 parts water, one part creamer, a lemon wedge, a tomato slice, and 2 sugar packets mmmm!).The last time Jamie and I were together, we talked about what he wanted to be when he grew up. He had it narrowed down to either dentist or beekeeper. He was leaning towards beekeeper because he had recently discovered that many people have bad breath."

Later that same morning we arrived back at my condo to discover my dog Goldie had passed away while we were out for breakfast. I was surprised that he didn’t ask a lot of questions about death like most children would have. He simply accepted death as a part of life and gently stroked her head. I think Jamie was very wise for his years.”

On the day Jamie left us his dad got him up early to eat oatmeal, they kissed and hugged. I dressed him and got him off to school with an “I Love you”, and one memory that did come back to Angela was how they told each other “you’re the best Auntie, You’re the best nephew in the world”. The power of love allowed Jamie to be the person is was and is.

Jamie was al light to all who meet him, whether for a brief moment or whether they were with him every day. It is his families desire to keep his bright light shining in the world. Thoreau said it best in this quote “On the death of a friend, we should consider that the fates through confidence have devolved on us that task of a double living, that we henceforth to fulfill the promise of our friend’s life also, in our own, to the world”.

We have honored his memory and kept his spirit alive in all those who knew him and even those who with whom he'd never meet. We’ve done this in many ways, from simply keeping a candle lit in our home, attending grief groups to creating a website and offering a ceremony to honor and explore our connection with those no longer in their bodies. We’ve also started a memorial fund through the San Diego Foundation. Through the generous gifts of others, Jamie can continue his work in the world.

This is not what we envisioned as Jamie’s life. It is not what we would have chosen fro ourselves as a family. It is our experience and now our promise to Jamie.

We pray that we can continue to honor him an all that we are and to spread his message of Love, Joy, Peace and Connection.

Please take a card and visit Jamie on line at www.JamiesJoy.Org

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Thank you for you time this afternoon. I’d like to end with a quote from Jamie and a song written in his memory. I know they will touch your heart as you have mine by your attention to this matter.

Whenever we’d ask Jamie “why are you so sweet, or funny or smart or cute or whatever” he’d always reply “Because God made me that way”. And he truly did and he truly is.


Played “Hold on to Each Other” by Karl Anthony.