Mom
Friday I got home early after a meeting that took me away from my office. I gave some blood at the hospital where the meeting was held. I got home and Myke and Jamie were out. I went to the Chinese acupuncturist for the first time. When my boys got home, we needed to decide who was going to craft night. Jamie was already to go, I was gathering my photos to work on an album of Jamie. Myke was undecided and then decided to stay home for some down time. Jamie and I headed out to Ruth's house to meet up with the gang. I had begun packing his p.j.'s and toothbrush for these late nights, as it is hard to wake him once he falls asleep in the car. We arrived at craft night to find Ruth had a great spread of veggies, pizza and desserts. As Jamie made his plate Dr. Dixon asks, "Where's your protein?" I would later find out this is an old family joke. Jamie points to the cookies. As he watches a movie with Katie, Lucus and the other older kids I proudly show off his baby pictures. Although he is not much older than a baby he likes to think of himself as a big boy. I indulge him by calling all his photos under four baby pictures. We also have a secret agreement that although he is a big boy he will always be my baby. 
At the close of the evening I have about 2 pages of the album complete. Both Jamie and I brush our teeth and change into our pajamas before leaving Ruth's. He is asleep when we got home. I carry him to bed, his teeth already brushed. 

Dad 
This was the day I went to pick Jamie up from school unannounced. When I arrived at the office to let them know I was there, one of the gals in the office said, "Oh, you must have got the message." 
"No", I replied, "What message?"
"Hang on just a minute", she said, and walked into the vice principal's office. Emerging a minute later, she asked me if I could come back and talk to Viola, the VP. I somewhat sheepishly sauntered to her office, trying to imagine what had happened.
Viola sat me down, and said, "Jamie mooned a couple of girls in class today."
"OK", I offered sheepishly.

"Well, I brought him in and we talked. I asked him if he knew the difference between right and wrong. He said 'yes', he did. I asked him then if what he did was right or wrong. He said it was wrong. Since he knew it was wrong, I didn't keep him any longer, but I did say he'd have to miss recess on Monday and Tuesday and spend that time in my office."

"That sounds fair", I agreed.

"You know, the funny thing is, when I asked Jamie where he learned to moon like that, he said he learned it from you."

I became flushed and tried to calmly explain that there were some things that we did at home, pee in the back yard for instance, that I would tell Jamie were not appropriate in public. Maybe I forgot to mention that particular act as being inappropriate."
She looked at me as if she expected me to defend myself. I had no defense, so she let me go with no punishment. 

I went out to sit on the picnic tables and wait for class to get out. I kept my eyes to myself, imagining disgusted passersby looking over to see the guy who teaches his son to moon people. "What other things will he teach him", I guessed at their thoughts. 
When Jamie's class got out, I walked over the get him. Bree Anna, who is like the 5-year-old class mother, told me right away, "Jamie did something bad today". 

"I know, Bree Anna, I will talk to him about it."

Jamie and I embraced, and as we walked holding hands to the parking lot, I asked him about the incident, sort of matter-of-factly. When we got in the truck, I told him, "Jamie, you embarrassed me".

"Why?" he asked.

"You told the vice principal that I taught you how to moon".

"Well, you did, Dad."

"I know", I replied "but you didn't have to tell her that." I could hardly be mad at him. I was, after all, the one who needed to learn something more than he did.

Saturday morning we went on a hike with the "Happy Hikers" from the free spirits group through church. We were to follow the guided the presentation about the flora and fauna of the landscape. Our group was small so a troupe of boy scouts joined us. Jamie and I quickly got bored. Using Jiggs the dog as an excuse we kept venturing ahead, only to be scolded by the group leader when we returned. Finally we made a clean break from the group and headed for the San Diego River. Jamie found some cool moss in the small swamp that passes as a river in the Mission Trails area. He asked and was granted permission to take off shoes, socks and shirt. He was getting too shy to go down to his underwear or beyond anymore. When the group caught up with us we were having a great time playing swamp monster with the moss and enjoying the warm sunshine and cool water. The boy scouts weren't allowed to remove any articles of clothing so Jamie quickly began entertaining them by chasing them with the moss. We followed the group out hiking rocks and trees along the way. 

Sunday Myke and I went to the gym. Jamie stayed with Sissy to get ready for church. We were all meeting at the for Tayo's christening. Danielle, Jamie and I left the service at 10:30 am to head to Unity Church where I was teaching Sunday school for Jamie's class. Danielle was to help out in the nursery. As it turned out the nursery was empty and I needed an assistant. Danielle helped in the 3-5 year old classroom. We had a great lesson on caring for others. Jamie has a little tantrum but was able to rejoin the class for playtime with play-dough. After church we went into Wrigley Hall to buy some scrip and hit up some folks for the March of Dimes walk. Jamie saw they were having brunch Sunday complete with strawberry pancakes. He wanted to eat. I explained to him we were meeting friends (Tayo & the christening party) for brunch. Being unsure of the menu I couldn't promise him pancakes though. The tears and tantrum #2 began. I was so happy when we got to the restaurant and they not only had pancakes, they had waffles too. Jamie ate and had a great time playing with the children and taking photos with Merlin. His last photo was taken that day. Looking at it now he looks to sure, so confident, so big. 

Jill and Kevin had been holding our wedding present for about a year, and Kevin had brought it today. It was a beautiful ceramic angel, and a nice piece for our meditation garden.


Monday Night Myke and I both got home around 6:30. It was a nice night and staying light later. We decided to take a family walk around our neighborhood. With Jiggs in tow we began. A few blocks down, we stopped at what used to be friend's house. They hadn't lived there in a year and a half. We meet a new fellow and drank some of his water. Jamie was quite interested in his tree in the front yard, a Crista-Galli Coral tree. He asked if he could climb it. "No I am just a renter and would not want anything to happen to you on the property". "It is weak-wooded tree", his dad added. The neighbors door shut and as we walked past the tree Jamie grabs onto it and swings. "Jamie, what are you doing? We just told you not to climb that tree," we yelled simultaneously, shocked by the defiance. " You said I couldn't climb on it, you didn't say I couldn't swing on it", was his logically, well thought out, and honest answer. I told that story to the Anger Management group, the next day as an example of how specific and clear we must be in our communication if we are to get what we want. 

Tuesday afternoon I got a call at work from Angela. She stated she had the next day off and wanted to "kick it with her nephew". I said I'd talk to Myke and get back to her. 
Tuesday night I got home around 5:30. I went to get Jamie who was playing at Taylor's. He was out front with his kite. I told him I thought they wanted him to leave it at their house but he insisted it was O.K. to take it home. He won. Home with the kite we went. It was trash night (Jamie's job, with my help). I was prompting when Jamie announces loudly and proudly "First I got to go poop!" He exits the bathroom with trash in hand. "Did you wipe?" Mom asks. "I forgot!" He assumes the position (a yoga down-dog stance perfect for wiping). Mom wipes and then goes to flush. Sitting in the toilet was the biggest poop (at least 2 feet) I've ever seen. "How does such a big poop come from such a little boy?" "I don't know" Jamie replies, as he bounces away with his trash. Later after trash is out and hands are washed we sit to eat at the kitchen table. I made spaghetti and Jamie has some left over as well. Before I talked to Myke or said anything to Jamie , about my earlier conversation with Angela (I had actually forgot) , Jamie said to me "I want to see my auntie and my Demetri" it was about 7:30 p.m. I discussed it with Mychael, who thought it would be O.K. I called Angela to talk with her about the arrangements. Jamie and Demetri talked for a while on the phone. It was settled. Jamie was going to spend the night at his Auntie's on Wednesday. She would pick him up at 3:30 pm from school and bring him back to school at 8:30 am on Thursday.


After dinner and when Dad got home we all settled in for the night. His homework assignment was to learn about exclamation points and questions marks through reading a story and pointing them out. We read A Visit to The Haunted House, a Hallmark pop-up book by Dean Wally. There were lots of exclamation points and a few question marks. Jamie keep referring to them as explanation points and asking marks. He asked to "jale my pelo" (pull, or hold onto my hair in Spanglish) before bed and I of course obliged. It was our special bonding time before bed. 

Wednesday morning, I got up early as always (around 4:30 A.M.) and thought I should wake Jamie up for breakfast, especially this morning since he'd be at Auntie's tonight. I went downstairs and got real close to his sleeping face.
"Jamie, wanna get up and have oatmeal with your daddy?" This was a magical way to get Jamie up. He was and incredibly sound sleeper, but any mention of breakfast and he'd hop joyfully, eyes half shut, out of bed. He followed me upstairs, and sat down at the breakfast table. I heated water, and made oatmeal for both of us. This was a special time for Jamie and me. We did it a couple of times a week on average. Usually, he would sit and eat, and I would stand at the counter and eat. That day, I decided to sit down, and we enjoyed our oatmeal together. We talked a little about the upcoming day, and about how he'd have to get a "green" at school so he could go with his auntie that evening. After breakfast, Jamie and I went back downstairs, and he climbed back into the nice warm bed next to Mommy. I kissed him and hugged him and we told each other how much we love each other, and I said goodbye to Jamie for the very last time.


Wednesday Morning April 24, 2002 started out as most of our weekdays do. I got up at 6:30 and did Yoga for 20 minutes. Jamie's clothes were picked out, he would wear his Scooby Do overalls and brown hiking shoe boots. I went to the bed and stared down at the beautiful son and soul before me. Reading the words of his pajamas I began to wake him asking "Are you Anakin Skywalker?" His little head and curls nodded a firm "No". "Are you my Jamie Lou?" A nod of the head confirmed this identity. "Are you my big boy?" Nod "Yes" again and he was almost awake. One eye popped open and the question meant to steal a few more minutes of sleep came. "Mom if I promise to keep my eyes open can I stay laying down during the prayers?" "O.K., honey, but if your eyes close you have to sit up." We said our prayers, brushed our teeth, and washed our faces. Jamie had a little accident in his Pull-Ups, which he still wore nightly for just such happenings. We washed his privates and he dressed, as he often did, watching Zabumafoo on "KPDS" as he called it. We took his other bigger blue backpack for his trip to Aunties tonight. We drove to Goya's, the neighbor and her family who watched him in the mornings and walked him to his bus stop. I told Goya, in my broken Spanish that Jamie wouldn't be there on Thursday because he would be going to Aunties for the night. Jamie was out of the car and at my window for a kiss. I remembered I had forgotten to insert day four of eye drops for pink eye. He leaned over my lap in the car and I put the drops carefully in his eyes. He got up and we embraced and kissed again. The last embrace the last kiss I would have from my sweet Jamie Boy. If I'd only known I would have never let go. I love you my sweet son, my sunshine, my Jamie Lou Who.